


leading lady

by newyorkpenny



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Musical, Reader-Insert, Theatre, musical theatre, reader is a theatre queen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:08:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25103710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/newyorkpenny/pseuds/newyorkpenny
Summary: You are at risk of being the next victim in a string of murders regarding the female leads of local theatre productions and Dr. Spencer Reid is in charge of keeping you safe
Relationships: Spencer Reid/Original Female Character(s), Spencer Reid/Reader, Spencer Reid/You
Comments: 25
Kudos: 124





	1. movie pirate

“Deep breaths, Y/N. Once you’re up there, it’ll be a piece of cake! You just, yaknow, have to get up there,” you say to yourself, in hopes of convincing yourself to calm down. Being on stage was your favorite place to be, but for some reason it took all of your strength to actually walk onto the stage, even though it was just a rehearsal. Your passion outweighed the stage fright though, and as you heard your cue you got into character and made your way onto the stage. 

\- 

“It is the future that they bring when tomorrow comes… Tomorrow comes!” you sang, tears threatening to roll down your face. It was still only rehearsal but for some reason the last words of Les Mis brought you to tears every time. You finally landed your dream role of Eponine, although it was just a local community theater, the cast was very talented and you were honored to stand with them. 

“Great rehearsal everyone. I know it's been a long day so I wont keep you. Go home, rest your voices, stay hydrated and be ready for tech rehearsal next week!” your director said. The rest of the cast had rushed off the stage, running off to their night shifts and chicken flavored ramen. Most of the cast were young and struggling to make it in show biz, much like you, who had yet to move from your position on the stage, still soaking in the moment. You snapped out of it, though- you had an early shift the next day and needed your sleep. Jumping off the stage, you gathered your things from a chair in the audience and headed out of the theatre. 

Your walk home was fairly short. Living in New York had its perks, especially the walkability. Nevermind the polluted air and real estate prices- you just felt like you belonged here in Manhattan. You normally felt safe walking home at night, with the streets usually occupied, but you couldn't shake the feeling that someone was watching you. Picking up your pace, you made it to your apartment building and ran up the 5 stories. 

“Yo, how was your rehearsal?” asked your next door neighbor and friend Brooke as you unlocked your door. She, like you, was a struggling artist- Brooke was always working on a novel, hoping to be the next big author. 

“It was fine. I'm starved, though. Wanna order a pizza?” you asked, hoping she'd come inside with you to hang out. You were still unsettled from earlier, couldn't shake the feeling of being watched and you didn't want to be alone. 

“At 10:30 PM?” she questioned, to which you nodded. “Ugh I wish I could hang, I have to get to bed. I’m flying home tomorrow morning and I gotta leave the house at like 4 AM. Why don’t you ask Maaaaaatt to hang out…?” she suggested, drawing out the “a” in matt to tease you. Matt played Marius in your show and the two of you have a bit of a “showmance” going on. It wasn’t really a love connection but at least he was someone to pass the time. 

“Eh, maybe. It is actually kinda late and I gotta be at the store pretty early tomorrow. Have fun on your flight!” you said, stepping inside your apartment. Shutting and locking the door, you threw your keys and bag onto the couch and strode into the kitchen. Your apartment was very small- barely enough room for 2 people. You had moved in with your now ex-boyfriend, Logan, a few months ago. He has since moved out and for some reason, the small apartment always felt empty. 

Changing into your PJs and forgoing a shower, you climbed into bed and tried to fall asleep as soon as possible. You had to work at 8 and needed sleep. You drifted off with thoughts of France in 1815, not noticing the shadows on the fire escape outside your bedroom window. 

\- 

BEEP BEEP BEEP 

“Ughhhhh,” you sighed, not a morning person. It was 7:15 but it felt like the middle of the night. Rolling out of bed, you put on a denim skirt with tights, a black turtleneck and a pair of mary jane doc martens. This was your usual style, a staple piece being a turtleneck, sometimes you experimented with a colorful sweater but it was nice to have a style that was easy to throw on every morning. You heated up a frozen breakfast burrito while you put on some makeup, planning on grabbing some coffee at work. As you walked to grab your purse from your bed, you noticed the window in your room was slightly ajar. Weird for the middle of October, but you had work in 20 minutes and didn’t have time to dwell. You shut and locked the window, hurrying out the front door. 

\- 

It was a short walk to your workplace- a quaint little bookstore/coffee shop store that you had loved since you walked in a few short months ago. After becoming a regular, you had noticed a “help wanted” sign in the window and jumped at the perfect opportunity to work your dream job. It was pretty chill and you got free coffee every shift which was a definite bonus. Today, however, was the opposite of chill. You knew this to be true when two serious looking men walked in with purpose- not the meandering behavior of your usual customers. You were behind the counter, just having finished ringing someone up, when the two walked over to you. 

“Y/N Y/L/N?” the muscular one asked. You were shocked, to say the least, and you guessed it was pretty evident on your face when the man introduced himself. 

“I’m agent Morgan, this is Dr. Reid, we’re with the FBI,” he said, flashing you a badge. “Could we speak with you?” 

You were caught off guard, once again. “FBI? The worst thing I’ve ever done is go on 123movies to watch High School Musical!” you said, noticing a smirk on the muscular one's face- the skinnier one in the sweater looked puzzled by you. 

“No miss, we’re not here about that,” he chuckled. 

“We’re here because we believe you could be the next victim in a string of murders,” said the sweatered one, quite bluntly. The man you now knew as Agent Morgan nudged him and he put his head down, blushing. Your mouth was agape. 

“Sorry for my partner here, he isn’t the best with bedside manners. But, it's true. It’s possible that you’re in a lot of danger. Would you come with us?” he asked. You checked your watch, seeing that your shift was due to end in 10 minutes anyway. 

“Sure, I guess. Lemme just grab my things from the back,” you told them. As you headed to the back you heard the two bickering, but you were too in shock from the news you just received to listen in. After gathering your purse and jacket, you were led out the door by the two men and into a large black SUV.


	2. comfortable silence

The ride was pretty silent. You soon realized that you didn’t even know where you were driving to. You were in the back seat, and the guy in the sweater sat next to you. You decided to break the silence and turned to him.  


“Sooo… what's your name?” you asked him with a smile. You had been introduced to Agent Morgan, the conventionally attractive muscle man, but the blunt pretty boy hadn’t said much.  


“Dr. Spencer Reid. Sorry, I should’ve introduced myself sooner,” he acknowledged apologetically. You shrugged, it was no big deal. The way he spoke was not conventionally charming- it was the little details that piqued your interest in him. He wasn’t boisterous or flirtatious, although you wouldn’t have minded.  


“Nice to meet you Spencer, I’m Y/N. Though, you probably already know that,” you chuckled, trying to make light of the situation. He didn’t say much, but there was a light smile on his face as he looked out the window.  


You offered another question, directed towards agent Morgan. “I’m sorry, but where are we going?” you asked.  


“Don’t be sorry. We’re going to the police station to fill you in and introduce you to the team,” he said with a comforting smile. He then took on a more serious tone. “Our number one priority is your safety. We’re going to try to keep you as safe as possible without straying too much from your daily routine,” he explained. You didn't know what that meant, but it comforted you. The SUV pulled up to the police station and the three of you got out and walked inside.  


You were greeted by a group of pretty good looking people, not unlike the 2 agents who picked you up. A man with dark features and a stern face introduced himself first as Agent Hotchner, followed by Agents Jareau, Prentiss, Rossi, and Garcia (who was currently on a computer screen talking through a video chat). You shook everyone’s hands and waved to Garcia through the screen, who enthusiastically told you to call her Penelope. You turned back to Agent Hotchner as he began to speak.  


“I know this is incredibly stressful, but we appreciate your cooperation,” he said.  


“No problem, but what exactly am I cooperating with? Why am I being targeted?” you asked, frantic to know information. Dr. Reid looked up from the files in his hand to answer your question.  


“We believe you to be the next target in a string of local murders. This unsub, or, unidentified subject, is killing women of your age and general appearance who are starring in local theatre productions,” he told you. The information was incredibly jarring, but there was a softness in his eyes that made you feel safe.  


“While we don’t know why he’s targeting these women, we believe that you are a target,” said Prentiss. Your heart dropped- you’d never get used to being a “target.”  


“So, how are we gonna prevent me from dying,” you said in a joking tone. You knew it wasn't a joking matter, but since it was your life on the line, you felt that you reserved the right. Agent Hotchner spoke again.  


“We’re going to have one of our agents stay with you at all times. Dr. Reid will be staying in your apartment, posing as a visitor or some sort of outsider, maybe a boyfriend,” he said. As he said this, you couldn’t help but blush at the thought, and when you looked at Spencer it seemed like he felt the same, avoiding your gaze. Agent Hotchner continued. “He is to follow you and stay with you wherever you go. We will also have undercover agents positioned outside of your apartment building at night to keep you safe.”  


This was a lot to process. You looked to Dr. Reid, who was already looking at you with… well you weren’t sure. It was like the soft look from before but it contained something extra, maybe pity, but you couldn’t quite put your finger on it.  


“Okay, I guess. Thank you,” you said, and you meant it. There wasn’t much left to do at the police station so you were ordered to head back home. Dr. Reid grabbed a duffel bag and met up with you at the entrance.  


“Ready to go?” he asked, holding the door open for you.  


“Yup,” you said, trying to hide a blush. For some reason the basic act of holding a door open for you made your heart flutter. You hadn’t experienced simple chivalry in months, not even with your ex all that much. You nodded your thanks to him and walked past him to the car, slightly brushing against his arm as you walked past. You hopped into the front seat as he got into the driver's seat and wordlessly started the car.  


The ride over was fairly quiet aside from you occasionally telling him where to turn to get to your apartment. However it wasn’t an uncomfortable silence. Although the two of you didn’t exchange many words, his presence was welcome and comforting. That could also be because he had a gun strapped to his waist and an insane serial killer was after you, but you felt connected to this man already. You had to park a couple blocks away from your apartment because the streets were always packed, but you didn’t mind. He reached into the back seat to grab his duffle bag and the two of you hopped out of the car.  


There was something about him that you liked, that was intriguing. You noticed some small mannerisms, like his occasional rambling and the way he talked with his hands. Those hands that made your mind go to... indecent places. You had just met the guy, though, and obviously didn’t plan on acting on the occasional attraction. Shaking these thoughts from your head, you decided to make some conversation while the two of you made your way to your apartment.  


“It must be hard,” you said, noticing him giving you a weird look you continued. “I mean, your job. Aside from the physical aspects of catching killers, I bet it takes a toll,” you said before realizing that it could seem insensitive. “I’m sorry, you probably don’t want to delve deep into your psyche with some random stranger you just met…” you trailed off, embarrassed. A laugh came out of nowhere and your eyes shot back up.  


“Well, I guess if I do delve deep into my psyche with you, then we won't be strangers anymore,” he smiled. “But, you’re right. It does get hard sometimes, I'm very lucky to have such a great team. We’re all kinda there for each other to help deal with stuff like that. We’re all in the same boat,” he explained. You nodded, processing his response, and it wasn’t long before you reached your front door.  


“Here we are, the casa del Y/N,” you said in a terrible accent. You heard a light chuckle behind you as you walked in, dropping your keys on the counter. He stood near the entrance and surveyed your place, not making any definitive movements. He seemed uncomfortable, like he didn’t want to disturb anything, but it wasn’t like you kept your place extremely tidy. It was more organized chaos- with your busy schedule and lack of a social life, you didn’t feel the need to keep everything sparkling.  


“Well make yourself at home. Uh, the couch is a pullout bed so you can sleep there. Help yourself to anything in the cabinets, although i'm living basically off of rice and the occasional PB & J so it's not really stocked,” you laughed. He smiled at that, but looked a little concerned.  


“Don’t worry, sometimes I steal the occasional croissant from work so I’m getting my calories. Don’t tell my boss, though” you joked. He laughed again, more comfortably, and walked towards the couch to set down his duffle bag. He seemed to notice your copy of Les Mis, the book version, on the coffee table and he picked it up.  


“One of my favorites,” he said, while flipping through.  


“Oh, you’ve read it?” you asked, surprised that this calculating man was reading Victor Hugo.  


“Yeah, in the original French too,” he said, nonchalantly. You were shocked but you didn't want to make a big deal so you continued.  


“Wow. Well, I decided to read it to kinda prepare for the show I'm in. I wanted to get to know the characters more and Hugo can really go on and on so I’m feeling good,” you said. You tried to make time for reading but these days you could only read when it wasn’t busy at work so reading Les Mis seemed like a good option.  
He smiled at your response, seeming content that you two had something in common. You felt the same.  


“Well, I’ve got the early shift again tomorrow so I’d better get to bed,” you said, feeling the exhaustion from the day hit you.  


“No problem,” he responded, seeming to understand your feelings. “You could probably guess this but I’ll be going to work with you tomorrow. Don’t worry I'll lay low.”  


“Oh, I'm not worried, and don’t feel compelled to lay low. I barely get any company at work so this is exciting for me, besides the serial killer part,” you both laughed. It was nice to have someone who understood what you were going through while simultaneously protecting you.  
With that, you walked into your room to get ready for bed. You barely had time to process your thoughts or feelings before the heaviness in your eyelids overtook you as you drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly ive never read les mis before because i simply don't have the attention span but ive heard victor hugo loves to go on and on so if thats incorrect im sorry please just go with it djshfakjb. but lmk what yall think! i have a lot of fun writing this but tbh idek if anybody is reading it skjnfkjafb.


	3. oxytocin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the reader confides in Reid about her personal life. is it just me or are these two hitting it off...? ;)

You woke up the next day to your pounding alarm and the smell of burnt toast. That was when you remembered there was an FBI agent staying in your home- you weren’t having a stroke. Dragging yourself out of bed, you walked over to your dresser to make yourself decent enough to be seen by Dr Reid. Peering inside, you could see your last clean sweatshirt at the bottom of the drawer. Well, it wasn’t technically yours. It belonged to your ex, and although you normally tried to avoid wearing it, today you welcomed the familiarity and comfort that came with it. Yesterday was probably one of your more less than comforting days but you were glad that a certain someone would keep you safe. The sweatshirt was pretty big on you and it came to about your mid thigh, so the athletic shorts you put on weren’t showing from under it. You made your way into the kitchen. 

The smell of burnt toast grew stronger and it was mixed with the smell of coffee, which you were grateful for. At your kitchen table sat Spencer, who was invested in today's paper. 

“Good morning!” you greeted him with a smile. You weren’t normally a morning person but you didn’t want Spencer to think of you as grumpy, which was your normal morning attitude. 

“Good Morning…” he trailed off, looking up for the first time. Well, up, down, then up again… Was he checking you out? You decided to brush it off, however, because you didn’t mind the attention. Once he noticed you looking at him he blushed and returned focus to his newspaper. 

“Thanks for making coffee, by the way. I normally don't have time and I've wasted enough money on it already,” you laughed. 

“No problem, I was up early anyway,” he responded, eyes still focused on the paper but it didn’t look like he was processing the information. 

You poured yourself a cup and took a sip, not adding any cream or sugar. Spencer noticed this and gave you a look. 

“What?” you asked, the mug halfway to your lips. 

“You take your coffee black?” he asked, an eyebrow quirked. You nodded, he continued. “Did you know that only 35% of people in the United States drink their coffee black? It’s pretty healthy, too- drinking one or two cups of black coffee a day reduces the risk of various cardiovascular diseases.” he spouted. You chuckled 

“Yeah, this is the way my dad drank it, so when I started to drink coffee in high school that's really all I knew. He used to tell me that by adding sugar to my coffee I might as well be having dessert for breakfast, which doesn’t really make sense but I listened anyway and I guess I'm used to it now,” you explained, and he nodded. 

“Your dad seems like a nice guy,” he remarked, innocently. 

“Yeah. He was,” you said, trying to focus on something other than the brown eyes boring into the side of your head. 

“Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn’t know…” he trailed off, and he seemed like he really meant it. 

“No, it's okay. I’m glad I had the chance to talk about him like he was still… you know… with us.” You took the seat next to Spencer and he folded the newspaper and set it aside. “It actually happened pretty recently, right before I moved here a few months ago,” you continued, looking for signs that you should stop talking but you had his full attention so you continued. “He had struggled with pancreatic cancer and we didn’t know until the symptoms started to show, but by then it was too late,” you said, trying to keep composure. “I really loved him, you know? I still do. I miss him every day,” you continued, letting a tear slip. 

Unexpectedly, Spencer stood up and pulled you up into a hug. It didn’t seem natural for him, physical contact, but it wasn’t uncomfortable once you melted in his touch. You let a few more tears fall, trembling a bit before letting go and wiping your eyes with your sleeve. His hands were still rested on your forearms, almost like he was teaching a baby how to walk and he wasn’t ready to let go. 

“Gosh, what a way to start the morning,” you said with a teary laugh. He gave you an empathetic smile, one that made you feel warm. 

“Crying actually releases oxytocin and feel-good endorphins that a lot of times help with emotional pain and stress,” Spencer offered more interesting facts, not breaking eye contact or the soft smile on his lips. This seemed to be his way of offering support and comfort, rather than outwardly expressing it. You didn’t mind it at all. 

“Hm, maybe I should cry before work more often then,” you remarked before wiping away the last of your tears and sitting back down, Spencer following in suit. He was blushing a little, the interaction that the two of you just had was probably sinking in. He didn’t seem like the type of guy to hug women he had just met, but maybe things were different with you. 

“So, I have to be at work in a half hour, are you down to walk there? It’s just a couple blocks,” you said, hoping that you could keep this part of your schedule intact. 

“I guess that's okay. It would be safer to drive but we don’t want the stalker to get suspicious about too many schedule changes,” he replied, and you were relieved. He looked back down at his newspaper and you took that as an opportunity to get ready for work. 

You walked into your room and picked out a pair of ripped mom jeans and swapped your tear stained hoodie cropped striped sweater. Settling for a fairly simple makeup look and running a brush through your hair, you walked back out to see Reid fully dressed and ready to leave. You laughed as you pulled on a pair of high top black converse, noticing Reid wearing the exact same pair of shoes. 

“Hey, we’re matching!” you exclaimed with a smile. He looked confused for a moment before looking at your outstretched pointed finger directed at your feet before laughing. 

“Don’t tell Morgan about this, I’d never live it down,” he remarked. You snorted at that and grabbed your purse to head out. The Morgan guy actually seemed nice, like someone you would be friends with. You wondered if you'd get to know his team better- they all seemed like good people and you were in short supply of friends. 

“Ready to go?” you asked, and he nodded. You opened the door and held it for him so you could lock it once it was shut, but when you turned around to do so, you noticed a thick envelope taped to your door. 

“What's this….” you trailed off, reaching up to grab it but Reid stopped you by laying a gentle hand on your forearm. 

“Hold on,” he said cautiously. He pulled the envelope off of your door and opened it, looking at its contents. His expression turned sour. 

“I have to call Hotch,” he said, frantically. 

“What- what is it?” you asked, more urgently. He sighed before showing you. In front of you were different photos of you, all at different places. One from outside the theatre of you walking home, one of you working at the cash register, and the last one was taken through your bedroom window. You were asleep. This made your heart stop. 

“Come with me,” he said, grabbing your arm and leading you back inside to your apartment. 

"I guess I have to switch shifts," you said to yourself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oooooh its gettin spooky yall. sorry this update was slow, i havent been motivated to write recently but i actually had fun with this one and i kinda have a direction with this story so ill stick with it! please leave a comment if you got this far lol i wanna know what you think! also im making the reader have my exact fashion sense because ive been in sweats for weeks and i wanna live vicariously through her im sorry alsdhjfadkgh.


	4. talented little thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> y/n gets a little closer to the team before her first tech rehearsal

It wasn’t long before your small apartment felt even smaller- the team had showed up within 5 minutes and although you were extremely overwhelmed, you knew that this was the safest you could be. Reid was frantically running around, talking to various people in FBI jackets and you felt like you were standing in the eye of a hurricane. You sat down at your kitchen table and put your head in your hands, trying to calm down when you felt a presence next to you. Looking up, you saw the blonde agent you had met the other day, Agent Jareau was her name. 

“It’s going to be okay, I know the chaos can be a little much but this is how you know we're working our hardest,” she said, resting a comforting hand on your arm. 

“I know, and I'm really grateful. You've all been great, and Spencers… he's… great,” you decided, smiling to yourself. So, hey, maybe you had a little crush on the guy. It wasn’t like you could act on it, with him sleeping on your couch, but you couldn’t help the butterflies when he rambles about facts or blushes when you notice him looking at you. 

“Yeah he is,” she smiled. “And he seems to feel the same way about you. I haven’t seen him this worked up about a case in awhile,” she said, her voice sounding a little suspicious. 

“Oh,” was all you could muster. Maybe he just feels responsible for you and he doesn’t want to mess up. Before the two of you could continue your conversation, the team made their way over to you with a woman on a video chat screen who you remembered to be the bubbly Garcia. Spencer had his eyes trained on the files in his hand, the rest of the team was focused on you. The woman with black hair, Prentiss, spoke first. 

“Y/N, is there anyone in your life that has been acting differently recently, maybe taking more interest in you?” she asked. This was surprising to you. 

“You mean… I know this crazy stalker killer?” you asked, shocked. You thought it was just some random dude who has a vendetta against thespians. Morgan spoke next. 

“Well, the thing is, none of the other victims had been followed this closely. It’s a change in his MO, leaving these photos on your door. He's taking special interest in you, and we think it's possible he's killing these other women as a way of playing out his fantasies of you,” he says with a concerned look. 

“So… this person is killing all of these women because of me?” you questioned, your chest growing tight. You looked to Spencer for comfort but he was still looking down at the file. You know you shouldn’t feel guilty, there wasn’t any way you could have caused this, but you couldn’t help the overwhelming feeling. It seemed like Agent Jareau could sense your panic and she grabbed your hand in hers, Morgan put a hand on your shoulder. 

“It’s a strong possibility,” said Hotch. “Which is why it's important that you continue to go about your daily schedule as usual. We don't want the unsub to panic once we're onto him and get more people hurt. Spencer will continue to live with you and go everywhere with you, it's only a matter of time before the unsub messes up and makes himself known,” he finished. This was definitely a lot to take in, and although you appreciated the comfort of Agent Jareau and Agent Morgan, the one person you really wanted to comfort you was in a different world. 

“So I can still go to my rehearsal tonight? It’s important that I don’t miss it, it’s the start of tech week” you said, hoping that it wasn’t too soon to be out in public. 

“Tech week?” questioned Morgan. 

“Oohhhh, how exciting!” said Garcia and you smiled at her, grateful that you still had the show to keep you sane. 

“Tech week is the week before the opening performance of a production where all of the technical aspects of the show are present and used in the rehearsal process,” Spencer said, as if on instinct, without looking up. 

“Yeah,” you agreed, “and it's kinda important I’m there…” you trailed off. 

“Oh my gosh, I forgot we're protecting a talented little thing! Eponine is a dream role of mine!” Garcia almost shouts. 

“Aw, stop you’re making me blush,” you laughed, briefly forgetting the situation you were in. That's when you noticed the stern look from Hotch and you looked back to see Garcia with wide eyes mouthing “I'll text you.” You smiled and gave her a thumbs up, returning your attention to Hotch. 

“Yes, you can go. If the unsub knows your schedule, he knows that it would be out of the ordinary for you to miss this rehearsal,” said Hotch, much to your relief. 

The agents soon finished up at your apartment, and Agent Jareau (who you now call JJ upon her request) gave you her phone number in case you had questions or wanted to talk, which you thought was very nice and you were glad the two of you hit it off. 

Your apartment was now empty aside from you, still seated at the kitchen table and Spencer sitting on the couch. The agents were only in your home for an hour or two but it felt like an eternity. You hadn’t eaten yet all day so you decided to ask Spencer if he wanted to get lunch with you. You walked over to the couch and sat on the opposite side from him. 

“So… wanna get some food?” you asked hoping he would look up from his work, and he did, but his face didn't show the soft smile that you had grown accustomed to. 

“You want to go out now? Right after a stalker left a menacing envelope on your door?” he asked, with a skeptical look on his face. His harsh tone took you by surprise and your face visibly fell. 

“Well I have a rehearsal later anyway, so we have to go out eventually…” you trailed off, his eyebrow still raised at you. “Fine, I guess we can order a pizza,” you huffed and walked back to the table where your phone was. 

“I’m sorry,” he said, and you turned around, surprised. 

“For what?” you asked, genuinely curious. He didn’t have anything to be sorry for, it's not like he was stalking you and killing these innocent women. 

“I’m sorry that this is happening to you and I’m sorry you're stuck with me as company,” he said, looking away. 

“Well I guess that first part makes sense, but you're great company!” you told him. He looked skeptical. “Seriously,” you continued, “I don’t know if any of the other agents would have ‘delved deep into their psyches’ with me, or gotten me to tell them about my dead dad,” you said bluntly. 

“Well to be fair, you kind of did that without me asking…” he said with a slight smile. You gasped in fake shock. 

“Ohhh, so that's how it's gonna be,” you laughed, the tension in the room dissipated. “Well I'm ordering the pizza now, cheese okay?” He nodded and smiled before focusing on his files once again. You were satisfied with yourself, glad that things seemed normal again. 

\- 

Hours had passed since you ordered the pizza, which the two of you shared on the couch while watching Gilmore Girls (Reid, even being the genius he is, remarked how fast they talked in that show). It was time to leave for your rehearsal, and although Reid insisted on driving, you could use the fresh air on a walk to clear your mind (or as fresh as the city could offer). You grabbed your purse, your script and water bottle and walked out the door with Spencer in tow, locking the door behind you. He offered to hold your script and you were hesitant but ultimately gave in. 

The second your foot hits the sidewalk outside of your apartment you feel off. Maybe you were overreacting, but it was a similar feeling to the one of being watched that you had experienced a few days ago. You picked up your pace and Spencer seemed to notice and he did the same, his hand instinctively resting near his holster. You tried to make small talk in case anybody was listening in. 

“So, the rehearsal is probably gonna be pretty long, but it might actually be entertaining. I mean you’ve read Les Mis in a couple languages so the show should be pretty easy to understand,” you jokingly told him. He chuckled beside you. 

“And it's okay that I watch? Your director wont mind?” he asked. 

“No, I'm sure it's fine if I just tell him once I get there. Fantine’s boyfriend watches rehearsals all the time,” you reassured him, before realizing what you had just said. “I mean not that you’re my, you know...” you said before he leaned down and lowered his voice. 

“It's okay- the cover, remember? As far as anyones concerned, I'm your boyfriend,” he told you. This did about as much to reassure you as it did to give you butterflies. You just nodded and did your best to hide your blush. It wasn’t long before you were outside the theater, and you were thankful for that. You trusted that you were safe with Spencer but you couldn’t help being on edge 

The two of you stepped inside the lobby area where your director was finishing up a phone call. He hung up the phone and turned to greet you. 

“Y/N, hello! Thank you for being on time,” he said, his voice laced with stress. You wondered who he was mad at for being late. 

“No problem John. Oh, is it okay if my boyfriend sits in on the rehearsal? He’s visiting from out of town and he loves theatre,” you said, trying to seem as convincing as possible, although you didn’t hate the lie of Spencer being your boyfriend. 

“Fine, he can take a seat in the back. Go get your costume on, mic check in 30,” he said, barely addressing Spencer before darting off and picking up a phone call. 

“So… I guess i'll see you soon. I might be able to sneak around and watch the first part of the show with you, I'm not onstage for a while,” you told him while leading him into the auditorium, seating him in one of the last rows. 

“Okay,” he smiled. “Go break a leg,” he said, which sounded a little unnatural coming from him but it was really cute. The two of you laughed and you walked back out into the lobby to get changed in your dressing room, not taking notice of his eyes following your retreating form.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this update was a little faster than usual but I had a bit of a productive weekend and I was just excited to post! let me know what you think, as a theatre kid im excited to write about tech week lolll. also im sorry if the profiling is wrong or doesn't make sense, im trying to make it sound realistic but honestly i dont know what im talking about alhfjskdhfk


	5. multitude of realizations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> spencer watches y/n's rehearsal. wow shes really good!

As you walked back into your dressing room, you couldn’t help the smile on your face. Sure, there was a murderer after you, but this crush you had on Spencer was honestly just as exhilarating. You had come to terms with the fact that you had a crush on him when you were watching Gilmore Girls earlier on Netflix and he was making commentary on the characters and the books Rory was reading. When he spoke, you were more interested in what he had to say than in the actual show. Although the two of you had only known each other for a couple days, spending all of your time with him had bonded the two of you in a way you hadn’t experienced in months. Once inside the dressing room, you made small talk with your fellow cast members.

“So, Y/N, when are you and Matt gonna hook up? I’m getting bored, I need a showmance,” said Caroline, the actress who played Fantine.

“Ah, I’m sorry but the Y/N ship has sailed! I’m actually seeing someone now,” you said with a smile, the words feeling genuine.

“Oh my gosh. Spill!” yelled Caroline.

“Well, his name's Spencer,” you shyly told her and the gathering crowd of your female castmates. “He’s staying with me for a little bit while he’s in town, he’s actually here tonight!” you told them as they squealed.

“We have to be introduced!” Caroline shouted, and you laughed.

“Okay, okay! I’ll point him out to you during mic check but that's all until after rehearsal,” you said with a grin before sitting down at your mirror and beginning the makeup and hair process.

-

After finishing getting ready, you headed out to the stage for mic check. You waited for a couple minutes with the girls, pointing out Spencer for them to gawk at and whisper to each other while he was mindlessly focused on a thick book. As if he felt the prying eyes of your cast, he looked up and shot you a smile and an awkward wave before focusing back on his book. A few minutes later, Matt walked on stage, slightly out of breath and not in his costume. You could overhear him talking to your director, apologizing for his lateness. Once he noticed you he greeted you with a tight smile and walked over to you, the girls whispering on the other side of the stage, still pointing at Spencer.

“So, a boyfriend, huh? Didn’t think our Y/N could pull it off,” Matt said in a teasing way.

“Wow, news gets around here pretty fast,” you replied, looking up again to Spencer at the back of the auditorium to see he was already looking at you. He seemed a little off… you didn't want to assume he was jealous but you were talking to your cute costar so maybe he was just getting a little too deep into his role of boyfriend. Your exchange with Matt was brief, your director wanted to get the show started as soon as possible. Once John called for places, you snuck back around through the lobby to sit with Spencer. You sat down next to him and he greeted you with a smile.

“Hey Spence, sorry that took a little longer than expected, our Marius was a little late,” you explained. You noticed he didn’t reply- he was just looking at you with a goofy smile. “What?” you asked.

“O-oh I’m sorry, it's nothing,” he said, a blush creeping on his face. “It’s just, not many people call me Spence,” he confessed.

“Oh! I’m sorry, did you not want me to call you that? It’s okay I can jus-” he cut you off.

“No! No, it's really fine. I… like it,” he said, looking down and twiddling his thumbs. As the pit orchestra began to play the opening number you settled into your seat with a smile on your face. The two of you watched the first couple songs, Spence occasionally whispering facts about the history of France in your ear and each time he did you smiled and nodded, occasionally asking questions but mostly just basking in the moment. You noticed that you had to go on soon so you excused yourself and ran into the lobby to head back to your dressing room.

Once you got inside you rushed to make sure you were ready to go on. As you frantically checked your makeup and looked for props, Caroline, who’s character had already died, started to talk to you.

“Girl, that boy is in love with you already,” she said, focused on the bag of chips in her lap. This made you stop everything you were doing.

“Im sorry. What?” you asked, not sure if you were hearing her right.

“I said what I said! Let me tell you, while I was trying to die on stage, I kept getting distracted by the two of you being all cute back there! The way he looks at you… i’ll just say, if someone looked at me like that, I wouldn’t let them go,” she said nonchalantly. Obviously she didn’t know that Spencer sharing your feelings was news to you. You couldn’t deny the chemistry, but you thought you were just imagining his lingering glances and soft smiles. It excited you as much as discouraged you, though. Falling for one of the FBI agents in charge of your case just wasn't right! And if he were to reciprocate those feelings, he could get in trouble at work and that was the last thing you wanted. You didn’t have much time to dwell on this, however, because you were about to go on stage.

-

As you acted and sang your heart out, you kept taking glances to see Spencer’s smiling face in the back of the auditorium. As your biggest song, On My Own was coming up, your nerves picked up a little bit- it was your moment alone on the stage and you couldn’t help it. As the opening notes began to play, you took a deep breath and sang.

_And now I'm all alone again_

_Nowhere to go, no one to turn to_

_Without a home, without a friend_

_Without a face to say hello to_

_And now the night is near_

_and now I can make-believe he's here_

You always resonated with these lyrics. You often felt very alone and it was difficult for you to open up to others. That was, until Spencer came along.

_On my own, pretending he's beside me_

_All alone, I walk with him 'til morning_

_Without him, I feel his arms around me_

_And when I lose my way I close my eyes and he has found me_

When you and Logan, your ex that you used to live with, broke up, you felt really hopeless. You tried not to let a man decide your happiness, but the two of you were long term and he had helped you through your father's passing. When he moved out, every waking moment was spent missing him.

_And I know, it's only in my mind_

_That I'm talking to myself, and not to him_

_And although, I know that he is blind_

_Still I say there's a way for us_

There was no way that someone like Spencer liked you. You didn’t feel worthy of it. You didn’t think you deserved to be loved, much less even liked, but even you couldn’t deny that there was chemistry

_I love him, but when the night is over_

_He is gone, the river's just a river_

_Without him, the world around me changes_

_The trees are bare and everywhere the streets are full of strangers_

That feeling of comfort that you had grown accustomed to around Logan returned when Spencer started to sleep on your couch. You didn’t believe in love at first sight, but this wasn’t that. It was an opportunity for a deep connection, something that you wanted to build on. Not some cringey story about mommy and daddy meeting eyes across the room and falling right then and there. Sure, Spencer was pretty much just your type looks-wise, but when you talked to him you just appreciated him as a person.

_I love him, but every day I'm learning_

_All my life, I've only been pretending_

_Without me, his world will go on turning_

_The world is full of happiness that I have never known_

You were over Logan. You didn’t realize until now that you had been sulking the past few months because of him, but there was a new light in your life. As you began to sing the last few lines, you made direct eye contact with Spencer, tears brimming in your eyes. These tears were real, caused by a multitude of realizations.

_I love him_

_I love him_

_I love him_

_But only on my own_

Shit. You really liked him.

-

After what felt like years, you had changed back into your clothes and took off your makeup, anxious to see Spencer and to hear his opinion on the show. You were trying to slyly sneak out of the dressing room before Caroline grabbed your shoulder and whipped you around. You sighed, knowing what was about to happen.

“You’re not getting off this easy! You said I could meet your new beau and I'm not leaving until I do!” she said with a smirk. You sighed, anxious at this being the first time you and Spencer really have to put on an act as “lovers”.

“Fine fine, just come on,” you sighed, leading her to the lobby where Spencer was waiting with his book in his hand, facing the opposite direction and talking to someone. Talking to… Matt. Oh jeez. You picked up your pace so you could greet Spencer, tapping him on the shoulder. He whipped around and when he saw you, his face broke into a joyful smile.

“Hey! You were amazing!” he exclaimed as he pulled you into a hug, genuinely excited. This surprised you but it didn’t take long to melt into it. Matt cleared his throat next to you and you let Spence go with a blush.

“Sorry. Spencer, this is Caroline. She plays Fantine,” you introduced the two. Spencer waved hello, not making a move to shake her hand. You wondered why, but you ignored it.

“You were really great too!” he told her.

“Thank you! So, this is the famous Spencer, huh? Y/N was telling us all of the hot goss about you two,” she said with a smirk.

“Hot goss?” Spencer said with an inquisitive look, you elbowed Caroline in the ribs.

“Uh, anyways we should get going,” you said, trying to usher Spencer out the door.

“Hey hey hey, not so fast!” said Matt, you cursed at him under your breath. “Our Y/N finally gets a boyfriend and we don’t even get to see them kiss?” he asks, a bit of a harsh edge to his voice. You didn’t think he was mad or jealous at first but this behavior was a little weird.

“Now why do we need to do that?” you asked with a harsh tone, Spencer tensing up beside you. You felt bad that he was in this position.

“I mean.... I kinda wanna see it too…” said Caroline, you elbowed her again. Spencer leaned down next to your ear.

“Y/N, it's okay. Kissing is actually safer than giving someone a handshake, the amount of pathogens that pass is staggering,” he whispered. This spouting of facts only made you want to kiss him more, but you really didn’t want to make him feel weird.

You sighed and turned to face Spencer, placing a hand on his cheek as he leaned down. You felt really guilty, you couldn’t believe that your first kiss with Spencer wasn’t even real or voluntary, but you didn’t want to seem suspicious. He closed the final inches between you two and you both shut your eyes, savoring the few moments your lips were together. He melted under your touch and it seemed like the world stopped spinning for a few seconds. You pulled away and looked him in the eyes, a soft smile on his lips as he straightened out. You had a goofy smile too before realizing your anger for the two dummies next to you.

“Happy?” you asked them harshly before grabbing his hand and leading him into the cool outdoors. No matter the temperature outside, your face was burning.

“I am soooo sorry, they're so annoying and i jus-,” you begin to profusely apologize before he cuts you off.”

“Y/N, it's okay! R-really. I knew that pretending to be your boyfriend might lead to something like this,” he reassured you, slightly nervously. You sighed in relief and the two of you silently began your walk home, both trying to hide the smiles creeping on your faces.

-

You unlocked your door while laughing at a joke Spencer was telling about existentialists and lightbulbs. Honestly, it kinda went over your head but his pure joy after telling the punchline was enough to make you smile.

“Thanks,” he said, looking down. You were confused.

“For what?” you said, still smiling at his joke.

“For laughing at my joke. The last time I told it, all I got was silence and looks of confusion,” he said, embarrassed. “B-but, if it makes you laugh, I know it's good,” he said, more quietly. Your heart could burst.

“Well, no problem. And, hey, if this whole FBI thing doesn’t work out, at least you know you have a career in comedy!” you joked, and he laughed, accidentally knocking your script off the table. The two of you bent down to get it at the same time, hands brushing. You apologized to each other and laughed it off, before Spencer just grabbed it. You both stood up as he placed it on the table. You stood in silence for a minute, both contemplating that moment, but it didn’t last for long once you heard the familiar sound of Spencer’s phone ringing.

“What's going on Morgan?” he asked after picking up his phone. As he listened to Morgan talk, you could tell that he wasn’t saying ‘Great news Reid! We caught the crazy guy! Now go sweep Y/N off her feet!.’ In fact, as Spencer’s face fell, you could tell it was the exact opposite. He hung up the phone and began pacing around your small apartment.

“What is it, what's going on?” you asked, panic rising as you followed his pacing.

“There's been another victim. I need to get down to the station, it's pretty late so I can try to get someone to stay here with you, let me just ca-” you cut him off.

“I don’t mind coming with you to the station, I might be able to help,” you offered, already grabbing your purse.

“Are you sure? We might be there for a while,” he warned.

“As long as you guys have a coffee machine, i'll be golden,” you smiled, despite the situation. He nodded and grabbed his messenger bag filled with files and stormed out the door, you followed him down to the car. Wordlessly, he hopped into the driver's seat, you in the passengers and the two of you sped off to the station.

-

You entered the station and were greeted with the expected hustle and bustle. You were glad for some familiar faces, though. Morgan walked over to greet you two, looking surprised but glad to see that you had come along too.

“Hey guys. Good to see you, Y/N,” Morgan said, resting a hand on your shoulder. You felt Spence stiffen besides you, but you brushed it off. “Reid, Hotch needs you to look at some crime scene photos with him and Prentiss. Y/N, would it be okay if you talked with JJ and Garcia on video chat in the break room? She’s gonna do some background checks on anybody you came into contact with recently. We’ve looked at everything, we’re willing to do anything at this point,” he said, seemingly desperate.

“Of course, anything to help,” you smiled, waving goodbye to Spencer before heading to the break room where JJ was talking with Garcia already on video chat.

“Well there's our favorite thespian!” said Garcia through the screen, you could hear her smile.

“Hey Pen,” you laughed and sat down across from JJ.

“How was your rehearsal?” JJ asked. You couldn’t help but smile, thinking about your “exchange” with Spencer.

“It was… good. Really good,” you told them, honestly.

“Hmmm.., it seems like there's something you're not telling us,” hinted Penelope. It was incredible how these people could so easily read you already, and Pen wasn’t even a profiler. You had felt immediately connected to them, though, so you didn’t mind it.

“Ugh, okay. Don’t freak out, or at least let me explain before you freak out, but… Spence and I… kissed,” you confessed. JJ looked shocked, Garcia was already begging for details.

“Listen! It was because of the cover we have going, I told my castmates that he was my boyfriend and this one guy basically demanded that we kiss and I didn’t wanna seem suspicious, so…” you trailed off. JJ’s surprised face morphed into a big smile.

“Um, okay! First of all, kinda icky that that guy forced you to kiss, but besides that… how was it?!” Garcia asked, with even more energy if possible.

“I don’t know! It was… just for the cover. But, it was nice,” you blushed and the girls squealed. You continued, “I don’t know, Spencer’s just really great and I've only known him a couple days. I felt bad that he had to kiss me,” you confessed, still feeling a little guilty.

“I’m sure he didn’t mind the kiss from a pretty girl, especially if it was you,” said JJ.

“What do you mean, especially if it was me?” you asked, and JJ looked like she didn’t mean to say that.

“Ugh, okay I shouldn’t be telling you this, but I have a feeling Spence is crushing on you,” JJ told you, your mouth was agape.

“Y/N how could he not! You’re gorg, talented, and a damsel in distress! I mean you're a strong independent woman who doesn’t need a man, but guys go nuts for that savior stuff,” Garcia explained and you laughed.

“I guess that's good,” you said, your smile faltering slightly. “It’s not like we can really do anything about it, though. I mean, wouldn’t he get in trouble or something?” you asked.

“Maybe, but were always rooting for his happiness, and you might be it. We wouldn’t want to get in the way of that,” JJ said, sweetly. You had to take a minute to process this. Once you had, you decided to move on to the background checks, forgoing the gossip for now.

-

The background checks had taken a couple hours, especially because of the occasional gossip break, but everyone you mentioned seemed to be clean. Exhausted, you found an empty desk and curled up onto the chair, resting your head in your arms on the desk. You were drifting off to sleep, almost unconscious when you felt the warmth of a sweater on your back and a kiss on your head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooh drama! this chapters def a little longer but once i started writing i didn't wanna stop so here we are, let me know what you think! also i had to include y/n singing on my own because its iconic, i cut a verse or two cause i didnt wanna drag it out but i needed to let y/n have her momenttttt


	6. whispers of are you sure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: brief mentioning of suicidal thoughts

You started to stir from your nap when you heard hushed voices a few desks down. Remaining quiet, you kept your head down to listen in on the conversation.

“Listen man, it sounds like you’re crushin hard on this girl,” you recognized Morgan's voice. Reid spoke next in hushed tones.

“It doesn’t matter how I feel about her, it's just unprofessional. And besides, she would probably go for a guy like you anyway,” said Spencer.

You could feel your heart break. It didn’t take a genius to know that they were talking about you, but it saddened you to hear about Spencer’s lack of confidence. In your eyes, he was the ideal man. You wanted to show that to him one day.

“Now you listen to me. You gotta stop getting in the way of your own happiness. Any girl would be lucky to have you, you just have to see it for yourself,” Morgan told him, warming your heart. This team was like a family, and you had to admit, you were a little jealous about their love for each other, but it was good to know that Spencer had such a great support system. You felt kind of weird listening in, however, so you decided to “wake up.” Slowly lifting your head, you yawned and stretched before looking over at the two men with a sleepy smile, pretending to just realize that they were there.

“Hey sleepy head,” said Morgan before getting up and turning to Spencer. “I gotta help Hotch with something,” he told him, leaning in to say the next part more quietly. “Remember what I told you,” he said before clapping Spencer on his shoulder and ruffling your hair when he walked past you. You smiled at the exchange and turned back to see Spencer nervously picking at his fingernails.

“So, what'd I miss? You catch the guy yet?” you asked in an attempt to lighten the mood. Spencer just chuckled nervously and shook his head.

“No, not yet,” he paused, thinking of what to say next. “I’m glad you got some sleep in. Studies show that most healthy adults need to get between 7 and 9 hours of sleep each night to function at their best,” he told you, continuing to nervously ramble, citing multiple facts about sleep. You just smiled at him, not fully processing his words. You were just mesmerized by his intelligence and passion for mundane facts. He noticed you staring. “What?” he asked nervously.

“Oh I'm sorry,” you said, flustered. “It's just… you're cute when you ramble,” you blushed and looked down. Spencer had the same reaction.

“Oh. Most people think it's annoying, the team normally cuts me off,” he said, avoiding eye contact. You could almost see the gears turning in his head, almost as if he regretted saying that for fear of judgement.

“If anything, it's... endearing,” you said, lifting your head back up to meet his gaze. He looked surprised that someone enjoyed his quirks. To you, this is what made him genuine and irresistible, irreplaceable. The two of you stared intensely for a moment before you started to speak at the same time.

“I thin-” you started.

“Do you-” he began.

You both laughed in response to this, the silence continuing for a moment longer.

“Y/N,” he started, with a shakiness in his voice, “I know we’ve only known each other for a few days, but I really care about you. Every time I have a breakthrough on this case, the first person I think of is you,” he started. You got up from your desk to walk closer to him as he went on. “And I don’t know what to call that, but you’re just really pretty and you’re so nice to me and you always are interested in what I have to say and you smell really goo-” you cut him off by softly grabbing the sides of his face.

“I have never met anyone like you before,” you told him in awe, stars in your eyes. He mimicked your expression, his surprise melting into adoration. Your eyes flicker down to his lips and he wordlessly nods, accepting what you had so badly wanted to do from the minute you met him. Slowly, you leaned in until you were an inch away from his face,

“Are you sure?” you whispered, wanting to confirm your mutual feelings. You weren't imagining this, right? Spencer didn't wait a second to wordlessly accept. With a small but nervous laugh, he closed the distance between his chapped lips and yours, resting his hands on your waist and pulling you closer. It was as if you were in a movie, the magical spark between you two. Your kisses with Logan hadn’t been like this- they didn’t hold this emotion, this longing. Logan's kisses were chores, not luxuries. A few seconds, what could have been hours, had passed before you pulled away and rested your forehead on his, eyes still closed. You wanted to savor this moment of peace, this calm before the inevitable storm. You both jump to the sound of an attention grabbing cough. Turning around you see a sly Prentiss, feigning gravitas.

“Uh, Hotch wants to see you. We’re going over possible unsubs and he thinks it would be good for you guys to be there. But, by all means, finish what you were doing first,” she said with a wink before speed walking into the conference room where the rest of the team was.

“So…” you trailed off.

“Yeah, so…” he replied looking at you with his blush still lingering.

“We should probably go see what's up,” you told him, although you didn’t want your time with him to end.

“Good idea,” he replied, and the two of you began your walk into the conference room, his hand resting on the small of your back as he led you. Once you got inside and settled in a seat next to JJ and Spence, you looked around to see the entire room staring at you with odd smiles. Rossi even shoots you a wink. Huh, word really does get around fast. You didn’t mind them knowing, however- you knew you had their support if Spence was happy. And that's all you could ask for.

“So about those unsubs!” Spencer starts, trying to diffuse the childish energy in the room.

“Right,” Hotch begins, trying to hide his own sly smirk. “We found out that the time of death of the latest suspect was at around 5:30, just like you thought,” said Hotch in a more serious tone.

“That would give Nichols the perfect amount of time to make the kill and then show up late to rehearsal,” replied Rossi. You were shocked.

“Wait, Nichols? As in Matt Nichols, _my_ Matt Nichols?” you asked, frantically. Reid flinched at your intensity and the use of “my” when referring to Matt, but you didn’t care. Matt might get on your nerves sometimes but you wouldn’t let him take the fall for something like this. You couldn’t have one of your leads getting arrested the week before the show, either. “A guy shows up late to one rehearsal and you assume he's a serial killer? Man, he can’t catch a break,” you huffed with a mirthless smile.

“Y/N, you have to admit, he fits the profile perfectly,” offered JJ, you just shook your head.

“I see the way he looks at you,” said Spencer, softly. As he continues he attempts to speak with more conviction but to you it sounded like he was trying to prove some far fetched conspiracy. “And that guy is possessive. When we kissed at your rehearsal the guy looked like he wanted to kill me!’ he said, trying to convince you. The mention of the kiss earned a whistle from Garcia on her screen.

“Not the time, Garcia,” Spencer snapped. You were in shock. The nerve he possessed to be giving an attitude right now surprised you. You could tell he was just on edge because he cared about you, but you didn’t want him snapping on his teammates because of you.

“I’m sorry you guys, but just because Matt and I used to have a ‘thing,’ doesn’t mean he wants me dead,” you said, standing up and walking out of the room. Your head was spinning and you needed some fresh air.

You grabbed Spencer’s sweater from where you left it on the chair and tugged it on before making your way outside. Once you were finally in the cold air you felt like you could breathe. How could this happen? Only a few short days ago you were at the top of your game, starring in your dream role and working towards a promotion at work, granted, the amount of times you had to call out for FBI business might affect that. The BAU threw a wrench in your whole life, but for some reason, you couldn’t be mad at them for it. JJ was like the sister you never had- the two of you were immediately connected and you didn’t want to lose her. Garcia was the hilarious and beautiful best friend you had always needed in your life, always ready to lighten the mood. Hotch, stern as he could be, was a compassionate leader and you were so glad the team had him. Morgan was protective and so sweet- even just knowing you for a short period of time, he had nothing to offer but kindness. Prentiss was smart as a whip and loved to tease you and Spence, but you wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. Through your savored but limited interactions with Rossi, you could tell he was a father figure for the team. This was a bit of a sore spot with you, but you hoped you could get closer with him over time. And Spencer. He was so frustratingly great. Great at his job, great at making you feel safe, great at… well… everything. You felt so lucky to know all these people and bond with them, you almost forgot your frustrations with them. But, after all, they were the professionals. If it came down to it, you would try to vouch for Matt but if they suspected him, you would trust their instincts.

You removed yourself from your thoughts and were about to make your way back inside when you heard quick footsteps from behind you and a sharp pain on the back of your skull before it all went black.

-

Inside the station, the team continued their conversation about the case. Spencer, however, was pacing around the conference room worried that he just screwed up what you two had going. Rossi excused himself from the team and walked over to Spence to put a calming hand on his shoulder.

“Go. Make sure she’s okay, we can handle this,” he told him, and that’s all it took for Spencer to bolt out of the room and out of the station. Looking around, his heart dropped when he didn’t see you. He tried calling your name a few times but he was received without a response. That's when the panic began to set in. He sprinted back inside the station and ran to the team, face red and panting.

“She’s gone.”

-

You woke up in an empty room, seated in a chair with your arms strapped behind you while your legs were tied together. Looking up you could see a tripod with a camera, filming your every move. Things began to make sense- the unsub had finally tracked your whereabouts and had taken you hostage. You couldn’t help but let out a dry laugh at the circumstances. You had thrown away your life just because you were upset about an assumption a trained team of professionals made. You had thrown away the life that you had worked so hard to want. Your father's passing had left you in a terrible place where your mind wandered to the unthinkable. These thoughts were something you had struggled with your whole life. You never planned on actually taking your life, but some mornings you were disappointed to wake up. It wasn’t until recently that you regained the will to take advantage of what life had to offer. Your passion for theatre was reignited and you met an amazing group of people- a group that you weren’t ready to say goodbye to yet. You were shaken from your thoughts when you noticed a shadowy figure enter the room from the door opposite of you- this figure was familiar, one you recognized.

“Matt?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whew!!! some of yall were right about this matt guy... lolol. but honestly if you're reading this i LOVE you and thank you for your support! feel free to message me on tumblr, im @newyorkpenny on there too. remember that if you're ever feeling down or having any suicidal thoughts or you just feel alone, you can always talk to me- believe me, i've been there. feeling very grateful tonight for yall, comment down below what you think so far! alsoooo did anyone catch the taylor swift reference in the title because i have been listening to folklore on repeat.


	7. its just polyester

Back at the station, the team was intently listening while Hotch gave his orders.

“Garcia, check the records to find the make and model of Nichols’ car and put out an APB. Morgan and Prentiss, go to his house and see if you can find anything,” he said, about to continue his orders when he was interrupted by Garcia.

“Um, sir? You’re going to want to see this,” she said, with a more serious tone than her normal voice. “A link to this website was emailed to me with Y/N’s name as the subject,” Garcia explained while typing furiously. She was broadcasting onto the computer screen a video with a woman tied to a chair in the middle of a dark room. Spencer immediately realized that it wasn’t just any woman- it was you.

“Thats- thats her! Garcia can you track the location?” he asked with increasing anxiety.

“Uhhh, i'm not so sure buttercup, give me a minute,” she replied before going silent, the image of you still on the screen.

Suddenly, the video on the screen changed as a man walked in front of the camera. He turned around and waved to the camera with a menacing smile, a small knife in his hand.

“That's him, that's Nichols!” Reid shouted, pointing at the monitor. “Why is he just showing his face like that? He isn’t even trying to hide his identity…” Reid wondered.

“Y/N was his final goal, and now that he has her he doesn’t need to hide himself anymore. He’s devolving, which means…” JJ trailed off. Reid picked back up.

“Which means she doesn’t have a lot of time,” he choked, trying his best to maintain his composure.

-

“Why are you doing this? If you ‘love’ me so much why do you want to hurt me?” you asked Matt through tears. He just laughed at you, playing with the knife in his hand.

“You _don’t_ understand, do you? You don’t understand that I would do anything for you! You go out and get yourself a boyfriend, completely ignoring what we have! You’re lying to yourself, Y/N. You hurt me and I can't just let that slide,” he said, getting angrier as he went on. This Matt was completely different from the one you had gotten to know during rehearsals. This Matt was unhinged and unpredictable, a combination of traits you didn’t know how to deal with.

“They’re going to find me. They’re going to find me and they’re going to put you in jail,” you told him, in a way trying to reassure yourself.

“Sure, that's possible. They’ll find you. Not necessarily alive, but eventually that pretty FBI boy will get his hands on you,” he chuckled to himself.

“You mean… Spencer? How did you know he was FBI?” you asked him, genuinely confused. You thought you had a solid cover.

“Oh come on. You know I watched your every move, I followed you everywhere. Don’t think I missed those frequent visits to the police station!” he yelled walking closer to you with every word. You hung your head. “But that cover… him being your boyfriend. That was too far, Y/N. And kissing in front of me when you knew how I felt? You’re the cruel one!” he yelled in your face, nearly spitting on you as he was right in front of you at this point.

“You told us to kiss! That wasn't my fault!” you bargained through your tears.

“Yes, yes I did. But… he liked it. I could tell, he wanted you. And I'll be damned if he gets you,” he continued before digging the knife across your thigh. You screamed in pain, wishing for Spencer to just come save you.

-

Spencer felt so helpless, but all he could do was watch you on the screen. He didn’t know what his worst nightmare was until this moment- watching someone he cared about in pain was affecting him in a way he's never faced before. It had been a few hours since they were sent the video and Morgan and Prentiss had already returned from Matt’s house with little evidence to go off. Spencer was ordered to stay at the station- he was too emotionally involved to be in the field and there wasn’t much for him to do aside from watching the livestream and trying to catch Matt slip with his location. So far, all he had done was hurt you. Right when Spencer was about to break down, he felt Morgan’s hand on his shoulder, leading him gently into a separate room. He closed the door behind him and sat on a desk in front of Reid.

“We’re gonna find her man,” Morgan said, attempting to sound as convincing as possible. But, Morgan knew as much as anyone else on the team that anything could happen.

“Morgan, you _don't_ know that! Most of these women were found dead within hours of their disappearances, it’s not like Y/N will be any different,” he sighed with exasperation, putting his head in his hands.

“That's the thing pretty boy. Y/N is different. You just gotta trust us and her man, we’re working hard and so is she,” Morgan told him, Spencer's breathing was evening out. “Now why don’t you come back in and help us find your girl,” he continued. Spencer nodded and stood up to walk back in the room where you were still being broadcasted. Everyone looked up at him and silently moved aside while he made his way towards the computer screen. Once he had regained focus, he noticed something in the corner that he had been looking past. To the right of you was a stack of boxes with a logo on them, but it was difficult to make out what they said.

“Garcia, is there any way you can enhance the logo on those boxes to the right?” Reid asked, his heart racing.

“Sure thing, just give me a sec,” she said, feeling the same intensity as Reid. After she zoomed in and enhanced, the logo was legible. “That's a logo for The Corner Store, it's a chain convenience store,” she sighed in frustration.

“I doubt he'd be able to keep her hostage in a busy store,” Rossi trailed off. Reid sighed, disappointed that his lead had led to nowhere.

“Oh, wait wait!” Garcia continued. “It looks like there's an abandoned building nearby that used to be one of these stores!” she recited, hope sparking in Spencer’s chest.

“That's it. Garcia?” Spencer asked with intensity.

“Sending you all the address right now,” she said with the same hope in her voice.

-

“Please, please stop,” you cried, tears mixing with your dirty sweat and blood. You were still wearing Spencer's sweater and you couldn’t help but feel bad for its poor condition- if you made it out of this you were gonna buy him a new one. It smelled like him, however, and that was one of the only things getting you through the torture. Matt had teased you with his knife many times, occasionally giving you a slice, but a lot of his torture was verbal. You still hadn’t gotten over the shock that the guy who you had a brief showmance with was holding your life in his hands. Looking at the camera setup, you pleaded with your eyes for the person on the other end to help you. You assumed that the BAU was receiving the footage by the way Matt was talking to the camera and putting on a show. Just as you felt the last glimmer of hope slip through your fingers, the door to the room you were held in was busted down. When Matt noticed what was going on, he ran behind you and held his knife to your neck.

“FBI, drop the knife!” shouted Spencer, his gun raised. Behind him was Morgan and Prentiss, guns raised as well.

“Oh, so the pretty boy is gonna tell me what to do? I have your girl's life in my hands and you think you can make demands?” he asked with sarcastic laughter.

“You’re right, Matt. You’re right. I'm going to put this down and we can talk about that,” Spencer said calmly before setting his gun on the floor.

“There’s nothing you can say that will convince me to keep her alive, if I can't have her then you _definitely_ can’t!” Matt yelled shakily. He was starting to lose it, you were worried what this meant for you. His grip was tightening and you could feel the knife break your skin at the surface. This pain was nothing compared to what you had already endured but you could tell Spencer was extremely worried even though he tried to hide it- you didn’t blame him.

“Matt, if you really loved Y/N, you wouldn’t hurt her,” Spence tried to bargain while taking slow steps towards you and Matt. This worried you, especially because Spencer was unarmed, you didn’t want him to get hurt.

“You don’t know a thing about love! If you did then you wouldn’t have taken her away from me!” Matt yelled again, beginning to shake even more.

“But I didn’t! That was all fake. Y/N and I were never in a relationship, and we never will be if you would just let her go,” Spencer pleaded once again, glancing down at you every so often as if he was making sure you were still okay. You couldn’t tell if he was being serious- he was probably just trying to convince Matt to let you go but the thought of never having a chance with Spencer was upsetting. You needed to play into it, though, if you wanted to get out of this situation so you spoke up.

“He’s right, Matt. You knew it was just a cover, we weren’t trying to hurt you,” you attempted to soothe him, but he just got more worked up and frantic. You squeezed your eyes shut when you heard his breathing speed up, hoping that his knife would move from its position against your neck.

Suddenly, you could feel Matt’s grip on you loosen. You opened your eyes to see him charge at Spencer with his knife drawn. You couldn’t hold back the scream in your throat, but Matt was inches away from Spencer when you heard a loud gunshot and the sound of Matt’s body collapsing on the ground. Spencer stood in front of him, breathing heavily. You noticed a cut on his forearm where Matt had gotten to him, but other than that he looked okay. You sighed in relief and he snapped out of his daze, running over to untie you. Once you were free he kneeled in front of you and took a moment to really take in your appearance for the first time, and you him. Your hair was messy and matted, your eyes were puffy from the many tears you had cried, and your neck was still wet with blood as well as the cuts on your arms and thighs. But Spencer still looked at you with awe, like you were some sort of princess.

You both stood at the same time, without breaking eye contact. You could feel a tear slip from your eyes and immediately threw your arms around his neck. He quickly responded by wrapping his shaky hands around your waist and pulling you tight. You could feel yourself letting go of the anxiety from the past few days, relief washing over you like a shower (that you needed badly). You and Spencer fit like missing puzzle pieces, your bodies molded together like they were made for each other. You pulled apart and wiped away your stray tears, his hands still on your waist.

“I’m sorry I ruined your sweater,” you said with a tearful laugh.

“It's just polyester," he laughed. "I have plenty more that you can borrow,” he reassured you, smiling with relief. “We’d better get you checked out,” he said, taking on a more serious tone. With the adrenaline fading away, the pain started to set in and your blood soaked legs were heavy as Spencer guided you into the ambulance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wooooo! finally i updated this chapter, im sorry it took longer than usual i was having hella difficulty writing it idk why :/ maybe cause ive never been kidnapped before lol. but pleaseee let me know what you think! at first i was gonna end this after the kidnapping but i have a lot of ideas for this story and im not ready to end it so keep an eye out for more spence and y/n! :) alsooo i referenced conan grays song heather jsskfjsk cause it was stuck in my head


	8. pizza and wine

It had been almost a week since the Matt incident and you were healing quickly- which meant you would be able to perform in your show. You were glad Les Mis didn’t include a lot of dancing because you didn’t want to take any chances of ripping your stitches. You were also glad that Matt had a very talented understudy- you had great chemistry with him and he seemed to be especially nice to you after word got out about Matt. Your director, John, was considering cancelling the show because of what had happened, but you all decided that after working your butts off at many rehearsals, the show must go on. Plus, having your former Marius be arrested for murder drummed up some press and there was predicted to be big crowds, especially for you.

You didn’t have much time to process things after being kidnapped, being mainly focused on recovering in the short period of time you had before the show. Spencer and the rest of the BAU had to go on another case soon after you got out of the hospital, but you had Spencer's number and the two of you had been talking on the phone every night since. Penelope had also been keeping in contact with you, which was really nice. The two of you had connected really well over video chat and you were hoping she could come see your show, but it seemed like the case they were on was dragging out, according to Spencer. Tonight, however, was the night that you would be on the stage in front of other people, opening night, and you were nervous in an exhilarating way. Grabbing your purse and makeup bag, you headed out the door and walked to the theater to get ready- felt really nice to finally walk the streets without worrying for your life.

-

“The show starts at 7:00, so we’ll leave at 6:20 to make sure we can get good seats. And remember, it's supposed to be a surprise so nobody tell her” Spencer said to the rest of the team in the hotel lobby.

“Wow, Spence. You must really like this girl if you’re showing up early somewhere,” JJ teased him with a smile. The team laughed and he blushed, not denying the “really liking this girl” part.

“I’m so excited to see my favorite Eponine in person! I’ve found videos of her singing online so I already know she’ll be great,” Garcia gushed.

“Damn Garcia, you really do your research,” marveled Prentiss.

“It was a simple Youtube search, Em, but I'll take the credit,” Garcia giggled. Everyone retreated to their rooms soon after that to get ready, but Spencer hung back in the lobby when he saw his phone ring with your name flashing across his screen. He smiled and picked it up.

“Hey YN!” he said, with a little too much excitement in his voice. He coughed and tried to tone it down, not wanting to blow the surprise.

“Spence! Thank god you picked up,” you said with worry. His heart rate picked up at your tone of voice.

“What's wrong Y/N is everything okay?” he asked quickly.

“Yes, I'm sorry for worrying you. Everything's fine. I'm just… really nervous. I thought talking to you might help me calm down” you chuckled. He relaxed a little bit.

“Y/N, I've seen you on that stage so I know what you’re capable of. And I'm a terrible liar so believe me when I tell you that you are _amazing_ ,” he gushed.

“Thank you, that really does mean a lot,” you told him, pausing for a moment. “I wish you could be there,” you sighed. It broke Spencer's heart, but he didn’t want to ruin the surprise.

“Me too,” he said softly.

“Well, I have to do mic check soon and I'm only halfway done with my makeup, so I guess I gotta let you go,” you said.

“Oh, okay,” Spencer said, a little disappointed your conversation was being cut short, but remembering he would see you in person tonight cheered him up.

“Go catch the bad guys… I miss you,” you told him quietly.

“I miss you too,” he said with a smile before hanging up. He shoved his phone into his pocket before making his way up to his hotel room to get ready for the night.

-

You could hear your cue to go on was coming up so you were standing in the wings watching the show, Caroline next to you watching as well, having already finished her scenes.

“It’s so sweet that your boyfriend is sitting in the front row,” Caroline remarked. You felt your heart drop.

“Wait… Spencers here?” you whisper-yelled in shock.

“Um… yes? Why are you surprised, it's not weird that your boyfriend showed up,” she asked, confused. You didn’t have time to answer before you had to go onstage.

As you walked on, you avoided looking at the crowd for as long as possible because you were afraid that you would break character if you did. During your solo song, however, you couldn’t help but glance, and lo and behold, the entire team was sitting in the front row with huge grins and mesmerized expressions. Thankfully you didn’t break, but instead you sang every word to them... maybe even showing off a bit.

On the very left sat Morgan like a proud older brother, his smile never faltering. Next to him was Penelope, who looked like a kid in a candy store. Rossi was next to her, melting your heart with his sincere look of pride. JJ was tearing up a bit next to Spencer- Spence, who had the same astonished look he had when you performed for him during tech week. The expression that made you feel like you could conquer the world. On Spencer's other side was Prentiss, who looked shocked but so happy for you. On the right end was Hotch, who was showing the most expression you had ever seen from the man. He wasn’t as expressive as the others, but his knowing smile was enough. There was a little boy next to him who you assumed was his son that had been briefly mentioned.

You sang your heart out to them, and during your death scene there wasn’t a dry eye in the front row- you had even caught Hotch shedding a tear. After your “dead” body was carried off, you waited anxiously in the dressing rooms until it was time for bows. You were accompanied by Caroline, who was texting when you walked in.

“How have you been doing since… the incident,” she asked you, putting down her phone. You hadn’t really talked to anyone about it besides Spencer sometimes but you never really went into depth.

“I’m doing good, actually,” you paused. “Is it weird that I… kinda miss Matt? Not the crazy guy who kidnapped me, but I just miss when things were normal,” you reflected.

“I get that. But then again, you wouldn’t have met your boyfriend if it weren’t for him,” she offered.

“Yeah, about that… he's not my boyfriend,” you looked down. She was shocked.

“You mean… you guys didn’t hook up yet?” she asked.

“Well, no! We kissed once but then I was kidnapped so we didn’t really follow up on it,” you told her.

“Girl you gotta get on that. You’re both so obviously crazy for each other,” she said, opening a bag of chips. You just laughed and stole a few of her chips, continuing the conversation and changing the subject before you were called for bows.

-

You stepped up to take your bow, basking in the moment. Your friends in the front row all hopped to their feet and whooped and cheered. This prompted everyone else in the theater to stand and tears sprung in your eyes. You blew them all kisses before stepping to the side, allowing the rest of the leads to bow. The second the curtain closed you rushed into the dressing room to take off your costume and throw on your previous outfit, which had been sweats and a tank top (classy). You ran into the lobby to greet the team and the second Spencer caught sight of you and ran over to you, you ran to meet him as well. You jumped into his arms with a hug and he picked you up and gave you a spin, laughing in your ear. After giving you a twirl he set you down and you rested your forehead on his.

“You were amazing. Again,” he whispered, the two of you smiling like crazy. Your moment was interrupted by a cough from Rossi, however, and you turned to greet them all. You squealed when you saw Penelope and hugged her first, for what might have been a few minutes. You went in a line, hugging each person one by one and getting various compliments, from “You killed it girl” to “I want you to sing at my funeral.”

“Thank you guys so much for coming! I was honestly so surprised but it means the world that you guys came,” you gushed.

“Well from the way Spencer talked about you, we couldn’t miss it,” Hotch said, in a teasing tone. You noticed his son for the first time, who was holding his hand and hiding slightly behind his leg. You knelt down to his eye level.

“Hi, I’m Y/N! And you must be Jack,” you offered your hand to him and he took it gently, the team smiling behind you.

“Go on Jack, tell her what you told me,” Hotch nudged him a bit forward.

“You’re really good at singing,” he said, shyly. You put your hand over your heart and thanked him, pulling him into a hug. He wrapped his tiny arms around your neck and your heart melted, the team giving a chorus of “aww”s behind you. You stood back up.

“So, I know it’s late but does anybody want to come back to my apartment, we can order a pizza and open a bottle of wine,” you offered. Hotch had to decline because Jack was getting sleepy, but the rest of the gang took you up on your offer and followed you outside the theater.

You were walking next to Spencer, the rest of the team took up the rear as you led the way. You all reflected on the show, bringing up your favorite parts.

“And when you died in Marius’ arms… I was literally weeping,” Garcia said, laughing with the rest of the team as they agreed.

“Aw, I'm sorry I made you cry,” you giggled. “But the understudy really came in clutch, he’s so talented,” you looked back at them as you spoke, which might have been a mistake. Not noticing the uneven sidewalk, you tripped and fell onto your hands. Everyone gasped, your face flushed.

“Y/N! Are you okay?” Spencer kneeled next to you, worry written across his face. You just laughed it off and stood up with his help, slightly wincing at the pain in your thigh.

“Oh, i'm fine! I've walked these sidewalks millions of times before, I should've remembered that was there,” you blushed.

“Y/N, you’re bleeding,” gasped JJ, pointing at your thigh. You looked down and noticed the blood seeping through your sweats.

“I'm really okay, I barely noticed it. That's just an old cut from…” you trailed off, but they knew what you were referring to.

Morgan strutted over to you and swept you up in a bridal style hold and you squealed with laughter.

“Morgan!” you said through laughs, the rest of the team smiling with you.

“I’m not gonna let you walk on that bad leg, princess,” he said smoothly, you couldn’t help but blush. You wrapped your arms around his neck and you all continued your walk, Spencer picking your bag off the ground and trailing behind.

-

Very soon you were outside your apartment, Morgan finally setting you down to unlock your door. After you opened it, you led the team inside and to your couch, where they all sat, Rossi sitting on the armchair next to it and Garcia sitting on the floor in front of Morgan, JJ, and Emily on the couch. Spence remained standing next to you.

“I’m gonna go clean myself up and get a bandaid, does anyone wanna call the pizza place? The number is on the counter, I'm cool with whatever you order,” you told them. Emily got up to make the call and you headed into your bathroom after telling her your address. Spencer trailed behind you like a lost puppy. After shutting the bathroom door, you began to look through your cabinets and under your sink for band aids but Spencer just told you to sit on the counter so he could patch you up. You were both silent for a minute.

“Is something wrong, Spence?” you asked. He frowned before answering.

“It’s nothing, I just... I feel like I let you down. I haven’t been able to stop thinking that I’m the reason you got hurt,” he confessed avoiding eye contact. This upset you- you never wanted him to feel this way. He continued. “And then Morgan comes in like Prince Charming to pick you up and carry you and i'm left behind like always, and-” you cut him off by putting your finger to his lips, not letting him get on a tangent. You didn't want him to be so hard on himself.

“Spence, there is seriously nothing you could have done better or differently. Matt could have gotten to me way earlier and things could have been way worse if you werent there for me,” you comforted him. “And just so you know, Morgan is not my type. I'll admit, it was fun not having to walk home cause my feet were killing me, but-” this time it was his turn to cut you off. He put his hand on the side of your face and pulled you into a soft kiss. You were surprised at him taking initiative at first, but your shock didn’t last long before you melted into it, wrapping your arms around his neck and playing with his curls. This deepened the kiss and he moved his hands to your waist, pulling you close. This kiss held a different kid of fire you weren’t accustomed to. When you had previously kissed him, it was sweet, but tentative. This time, you both knew what you wanted: eachother.

You weren’t aware of how long the two of you were in that position before you saw a flash coming from the doorway. You quickly pulled away from Spencer with a blush, greeted with the prying eyes of Derek and Emily.

“What?” Spencer asked softly with slight disappointment, before turning to see where you were looking and soon mirrored your same flustered expression.

“I told you to turn the flash off!” Morgan whisper-yelled to Emily in mock annoyance, hiding his smirk.

“We were, uh, just coming to tell you that the pizza will be here in 20,” said Prentiss, doing her best to hide her own smirk.

“You guys take your time,” said Morgan before backing away with a wink. An out of breath Garcia ran up behind them.

“What did I miss?” she asked, before noticing the energy in the room and backed away with wide eyes and a big smile. Emily shut the door behind her with a wink.

“Why does that always happen,” Spencer asked with an exasperated sigh. You laughed.

“At least they approve,” you smiled and pecked his lips before hopping off the counter, leading him into the room where the team was, crowded around Emily's phone while speaking in hushed excited tones. Spencer cleared his throat and they all scattered.

“Whatcha lookin at?” you asked, obviously knowing what the true answer was, but you wanted to entertain the nonsense.

“Uh… Emily found some adorable pictures of these two puppies,” said Garcia, unconvincingly.

“Yeah, and the puppies seemed to really like each other,” continued Rossi, the rest of the team stifling their laughter.

The rest of the night consisted of laughter and bonding, something you hadn’t experienced in a long time. You shared the occasional glance with Spencer when someone was telling a story, taking a moment to appreciate each other before refocusing. Everyone seemed to really like you, especially after you provided a night of pizza and wine. You were upset that they had to go back to Quantico, but you now knew that the connection you had made with this team would last- you hadn’t seen the last of Garcia’s colorful wardrobe or Rossi’s italian mannerisms- for that, you were thankful. As the team said their goodbyes and made their way out the door, you made sure to hug each and every one of them to thank them for coming to your show. Spencer was the last one out the door, and as he was leaving the two of you shared some words.

“Call me when you land so I know you’re safe,” you said, trying not to tear up. It was crazy how attached you were to him already, you couldn’t explain it, but you also couldn’t help it.

“I promise I will,” he told you sincerely. You felt like you might have kissed him again if it weren’t for your audience, waiting to go back to the hotel. You hugged him for a moment and relinquished him to the team, saying one more goodbye and shutting the door behind them. You felt the best you had since before your father died- your happiness was beginning to restore, and you had these amazing people to thank. You fell asleep that night with dreams of Spencer's soft lips and sweet words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really hope im doing the team justice because their chemistry is just so adorable in the show and i wanted y/n to bond with them:/ this chapter was so sweet like honestly im so jealous of y/n skhajsbgahj but let me know what yall think!


	9. in synch

The monotony of daily life that you had so easily slipped into was beginning to bug you. You worked most days and came home to an empty apartment, save for the few times you hung out with your neighbor Brooke. Ever since the kidnapping a month ago, your normal life seemed incredibly dull, especially without anything to do besides work all day. You did, however, attempt to focus your energy on songwriting- without a musical to be in, you decided that you still wanted to be creative in your spare time. You performed at a lot of local coffee shops, including your workplace every Tuesday. You told Spencer all of this in your nightly phone calls    
(and occasional facetimes- you had Penelope to thank for teaching him how). Checking your phone, you noticed it was 15 minutes past your usual chat time with Spencer, which was no big deal- sometimes he was busy thinking about the case he was on, and he seemed pretty stressed with their recent one in New Jersey. You hadn't gotten many details because Spencer tried to prevent you from hearing about the gore, but you could hear from his tired voice that it was taking a toll. You were slightly worried, however, so you decided to call him to see if he was busy. He picked up after a few rings.

“Y/N, hi,” he said, trying his best to sound cheery, but it didn’t take a profiler to detect the obvious strain.

“Hey Spence, everything okay?” you asked, voice laced with worry.

“Yeah, of course. This case is just a little difficult, I’ve been busy,” he responded- you could tell his mind was elsewhere, maybe reading a case file.

“Oh, okay, well if you need me to let you go-” he cut you off.

“No, no! I’m sorry I’m not super chatty, but I really do like hearing your voice at the end of the day,” he told you, honestly. You smiled and began to tell him about the details of your day, taking the talking into your own hands. Sometimes he got like this- he wanted to hear your voice, you brought him a sense of comfort and normalcy, but he didn’t have the energy in him to carry the conversation. You didn’t press him to share anything he didn’t want to, though, and after an hour of talking about yourself you decided to let him go.

“Okay, well I should let you get to sleep Spence. Sweet dreams,” you told him with a smile.

“Sweet dreams, I lo-” he cut himself off. You gasped a little, mentally cursing yourself for reacting audibly. “I... loved talking to you,” he saved himself quickly, his tired voice now containing traces of panic. You said your goodbyes one more time and you hung up, your phone resting in your lap. You bit your lip to hold back the smile you couldn’t help but don- was he going to say he loved you? Sure, you’d only known each other for a month and you weren’t even officially “boyfriend and girlfriend,” but it felt natural to think about. 

Soon after reflecting on your conversation, your worry for Spencer’s mental health began to sink in. He did seem way more tired than usual, and you wanted to make sure he was okay. You decided to text in your group chat with JJ, Emily, and Garcia, which was called “The Gals” (created by Garcia).

_ hey, how is everything? i just got off the phone with spence, he seemed kinda off and i'm just a little worried :/ _

You hit send and made yourself a cup of tea while waiting for a response, which was quick to come. Picking up your phone, you saw a response from JJ.

_ He’s definitely stressed, I think the case is getting to him a little. _

You sighed, your suspicions had been correct. You didn’t have a long time to think about it before Emily texted.

_ okay, crazy idea… but what if you took a train into jersey? i'm sure reid would love to see you (we all would of course) :) _

You set your phone down and thought about it for a second. You didn’t have any important plans this weekend, and you could get someone to cover for you at work. Not seeing any reason to decline, you excitedly texted back.

_ omg yes! i miss you all like crazy, i'll look at tickets for tomorrow. _

You typed quickly and hit send before opening a tab to buy the cheapest ticket possible. You coordinated with the girls to have Emily pick you up and bring you to the police station where you'd surprise Spence on his lunch break. You could barely fall asleep that night, you were so excited to finally see his face in person for the first time in a month.

-

You slept through the entire train ride, not even bothering to open the book you had brought with you. The only ticket you could get left at 7 in the morning, which was very early for you, but you were willing to face the morning commute if it had a chance of putting a smile on Spencer’s face. Walking out of the train station with just a backpack of clothes, you spotted Emily standing in front of a black SUV holding a piece of paper that said “Y/N Y/LN” on it. She tried to keep a serious face, like she was your security guard, but once she caught a glimpse of your beaming smile she couldn’t help it when the corners of her mouth lifted. You laughed before running to greet her in a big hug, almost knocking the two of you off your feet. 

“Woah there Y/N, save some for Reid!” she joked and you blushed, letting her go after a minute.

“Sorry, sorry, I just missed you Em!” you gushed, not masking your infectious smile.

“I missed you too,” she told you, sincerely. You didn’t know why the simple gesture of returning your sentiments meant the world to you, but you knew she was sincere and your chest felt warm. Emily opened the passengers door for you to hop in, returning to her all too serious persona of chauffeur before running around and opening the driver's seat door to rush back to the station.

During your ride, the two of you talked about anything and everything- everything except the case. When you were about five minutes away, you tried to change the topic to the case in hopes of learning why this was the one to make Spencer sweat.

“So… Do you know why Spencer’s been feeling off recently?” you asked her, hoping to hear more details about the case. She just shook her head, unconvincingly.

“No, I think it just feels personal to him,” she replied, providing little detail. You decided not to pry, and you finished the car ride in comfortable silence. You could see the police station getting closer in the distance, as well as Morgan, who was standing outside. Your heart started to soar at the sight of your friend. The second the car came to a stop, you hopped out and gave Derek the same hug you had given to Emily, and he returned it, even lifting you up off of your feet. You gasped and giggled before you felt the ground beneath you again.

“Hey kid, we missed you,” Derek said, ruffling your hair. You normally wouldn't like someone touching your hair, but Derek had a brotherly way of showing his affection so you just playfully rolled your eyes before reaching up to fix your locks.

“I guess I missed you too,” you huffed in mock annoyance, earning a laugh from Morgan and Emily who was now standing at your side. They both led you into the station, where the rest of the team was waiting for you with open arms. You greeted JJ, Rossi, and Hotch all with hugs before asking where the reason you came was.

“Reid just left to pick up some lunch for us, so you should hide in the conference room,” JJ told you with excitement. She was glad that her best friend finally had someone to look after him- he didn’t always have the best luck with women. 

“Sounds good,” you clapped before going to the conference room and shutting the door behind you. On one of the chairs was one of Spencer’s sweaters, and although you didn’t have the best track record with them, you couldn’t help but put it on- for some reason you thought it would be funny, and you'd just give it back to him when he returned. After you slid it on you heard a loud “Hey Reid!” and you decided to hide behind the door, waiting for someone to lure him into the conference room. 

“I mean I guess we can eat in the conference room, I don’t know why you guys are so adamant on that,” you heard a familiar voice mumble. Your heart dropped slightly at the tiredness in his voice, but you were just excited to see him. You watched as he walked into the room alone and set the bags of food on the table before turning around. You locked eyes with him and he froze for a split second, mouth open and eyebrows raised, before the two of you simultaneously ran to each other. As if it were muscle memory, you jumped into his arms and wrapped your legs around his waist, arms around his neck as you nestled into his cheek. His arms were wrapped around your waist so tight, like he was afraid to let go. After a few spins, he eventually set you down and put his hands on the sides of your face.

“What are you doing here!” he asked, more like he yelled. You laughed joyfully at his excitement before pointing to the window where the rest of the team was looking at you with big smiles and thumbs up.

“It was Emily’s idea, the whole team was in on it. I missed you and I wanted to see you,” you told him, maintaining eye contact. He looked rejuvenated- his tired eyes now had the squint of a smile, and you were so glad that you were the cause of it. 

“This is- this makes me so happy,” he smiled wide and hugged you again, savoring the moments in your arms, you doing the same.

“Is that my…” he said, grabbing the ends of the way-too-long sleeves of his sweater you were currently adorning.

“Oh, yeah” you blushed. “Sorry, I thought it would be funny,” you laughed before attempting to lift it back over your head.

“Don’t,” he said, pulling it back down. “It's cute,” he smiled, making you blush. You didn’t have much time to catch up before Morgan came in to ask for Spencer's help- he was needed for the case. Spencer shot you an apologetic look, you just ushered him off and reassured him that you would be fine. Taking a seat, you opened the book you intended to read on the train and started to read the pages, passing the time.

-

It had been hours since Spencer was first pulled away- you had finished the book you had brought and were scrolling through your various social media accounts and listening to music in your earbuds. You dozed off a few times, so when you noticed it was already nighttime, you weren’t surprised. The last time you dozed off, you were awakened by a tentative hand on your shoulder. Looking up, you saw Spencer’s soft eyes and delicate smile.

“Hotch is sending us back to the hotel,” he whispered, like he was afraid to startle you. 

“Oh okay,” you replied, trying to rub the sleep out of your eyes.

“So… are you staying at the hotel with us?” Spencer asked, hope in his voice.

“Yeah, I am. Emily offered to share her room with me, unless…” you trailed off, hoping he would offer his own.

“Stay with me?” he asked, a hopeful glint in his eyes. You smiled and nodded before grabbing your belongings and heading out to the SUV that Morgan was driving to take you, Spence, and Emily back to the hotel. You all made quiet conversation, Emily once again offering for you to stay in her room. When you told her what you and Spence planned, she just nodded with a sly smile, Morgan giving a low whistle. You laughed and Spencer rolled his eyes before shooting you a nervous smile, which you returned. Pulling up to the hotel, you all got out of the car and made your way to your respective rooms, sliding your hand into Spencers (which didn’t go unnoticed by Morgan and Emily. You walked the long hallway to your room, Spencer fumbling to get his key card out of his pocket, still flustered by your touch. He eventually managed to open the door and held it for you. 

You tossed your bag on the ground and flopped down on the bed, Spencer flopping next to you. The two of you laughed together, lying on your backs, before turning to look at each other. His eyes held an adoration for you that you had greatly missed, an adoration that you only got through the rare facetime calls. You sat up slightly, Spencer mirroring you. You both had the same idea when you gingerly leaned into one another softly pressing your lips to each other. The tenderness shifted to hunger as you pulled him on top of you, his legs between yours. You giggled as you pulled him back down by the collar of his shirt, once again connecting your lips. His hands rested on your back, yours on the sides of his face. You were both trying to get as close as possible, like you were relying on each other's body heat. Neither of you had felt passion like this before- you had a mutual pining for one another and it was finally manifesting itself. You didn’t want to stop but you pulled away for a quick breath, Spencer having the same idea. He was still hovering over you when you began to speak.

“Spence… what are we?” you asked, trying not to make things awkward, but it was obvious the two of you really liked each other- you had just yet to label it. But you wanted to label it. What you had with Spencer seemed label worthy. He gave you a soft smile before answering.

“Y/N, will you be my girlfriend?” he asked with a cheeky smile. Without answering, you pulled him back down for a quick and loving kiss. “Is that a yes?” he asked with a laugh. You giggled.

“Yes, it’s a yes Spence,” you told him between laughs. He flopped back down next to you and you faced him, putting your arm around his waist and inching closer until your chest was on his. He pulled your head under his, nuzzling into your hair and your legs became entwined. You stayed like this, breathing in sync for a while. Neither of you fell asleep, however- you napped throughout the day so you weren’t tired yet and Spencer was wired from the case. You took this silence as an opportunity to talk. You lifted your head from its position and looked at him, faces a few inches away.

“Spence? Can I ask… why is this case different from the others?” you asked, and you could feel his breath hitch in his throat. “You don’t have to tell me of course, I just want to help you and… I guess, know you better,” you told him, hoping to convince him to tell you what was wrong. He sighed, but began to speak.

“My mom… she has schizophrenia, and she hasn’t been doing well recently. This case… the unsub is killing people with mental illnesses, mainly schizophrenia. It’s just affecting me differently. I feel like these people, they could easily be my mom. They could easily be… me,” he continued, avoiding your gaze.

“Spence, I'm so sorry,” you told him, brushing a hair away from his eyes, which prompted him to look at you. “It isn’t you. It isn't your mother. I know this is hard for you to realize, but I'm here for you, i'll always lo-” you cut yourself off, coughing to hide your almost-confession. “I'll always be here for you,” you said, settling for support rather than a full fledged confession. From the smile on his face, you could tell he noticed. But neither of you acknowledged it as you re-entwined yourselves with one another and fell asleep, finally in synch. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yayyyy theyre official! this update took a little longer, ive actually been busy recently but it felt so good to write again lol. but let me know what yall think, this one is honestly so cute to me ashfgajfhgu


	10. golden hour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> spencer gets injured on the job, and who's a better nurse than his girlfriend?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i highly recommend listening to golden hour by kacey musgraves before or during this chapter! thats who the song is by and its sooo good.

Back at home, it was business as usual. After the case had been wrapped up due to a breakthrough Spencer had, you took a train back home. Spencer drove you to the train station and you shared a kiss and a promise to see each other as soon as possible. Maintaining a long distance relationship like this worried you, especially because you couldn’t afford to spontaneously visit him during every case, but Spencer had reassured you that you guys would find time. His promises were never broken- he managed to call you almost every day on his rare breaks or before bed. You were thankful he was committed to you- you were head over heels. 

After the two of you almost slipped with the “L” word, you were extra cautious when you hung up the phone in case you signed off with it. You knew how you felt- you did love him. And you were pretty sure he felt the same way, you were just afraid to put all of your faith into one person. Your feelings were not rational, though- Spencer proved himself to be worth loving every day, and it scared you.

You were a few hours in on your morning shift when you got a call from JJ. This was unusual- you didn’t normally talk to anyone on the phone besides Spence, but even when you did it was never in the middle of the day. The store was empty so you set down the book you were browsing and answered the call.

“Hey JJ, whats up?” you asked.

“Y/N, don’t freak out,” she started. Your heart dropped.

“Alright J, just a pro tip, don’t start with that if you don’t want me to freak out,” you said with a nervous laugh.

“Right, sorry. It’s Spencer, he was shot in the leg,” she said, calmly.

“Oh god, is he okay?” you asked, worry setting in.

“Yes, yes he's totally fine, but he can’t come into work for awhile and… none of us can stay with him while he’s at home. We were just thinking… would it be possible for him to stay with you?” she asked, hope in her voice. This excited you greatly- obviously not him being shot, but spending actual time with him was an opportunity you were sure to take advantage of.

“Oh my gosh, yes of course!” you said, trying (and failing) to hide your excitement. “Does Spence know you’re asking me this?” you asked, thinking it was weird that Spencer wasn’t the one to call you about staying.

“Well, no. But we think it's best and I'm sure he'd love to,” she said, sounding a little guilty. “The case we were working was in a suburb in New York, so luckily we're still close. He’s being discharged later today, if it's okay we’ll bring him over then,” she continued.

“Okay, great! Well obviously not great, my boyfriend was shot in the leg, but uh, yeah i'll see you guys soon,” you finished, stumbling through the conversation, blushing at your use of the word “boyfriend.” JJ chuckled and the two of you signed off before you got back to work, wanting your shift to end as soon as possible so you could be home with Spencer.

-

Spencer was supposed to arrive in a half hour and you were surprisingly nervous- this was his first time staying in your apartment when you were actually official, and you assumed you would share the bed again. The last time, you had fallen asleep entwined with each other and you woke up in tangles- considering his injury, you doubted you would have the same arrangement. 

You decided to quickly hop in the shower and debated shaving- you didn't think you were getting any action from your injured boyfriend but it was better to be safe than sorry. In a rush, you hopped out and threw on a pair of ripped jeans and a cropped t-shirt, not bothering to dress up- you were in for a chill night. Once you finished your post shower hair care ritual, you heard a knock coming from your door. With one last look in the mirror, you sped walked to the door and swung it open to see your sad boyfriend in a wheelchair in front of Morgan. 

“Hey guys,” you greeted with a smile. Spencer nodded grumpily and Morgan smirked.

“Hey Y/N. Sorry, pretty boys feeling a little down the dumps about his boo boo,” Morgan laughed, Spencer huffed.

“Sure, a boo boo. Or a gunshot wound to the leg, same difference,” he snapped, Morgan trying to hide his laughter. You were glad Derek could joke about this- it was how you knew his injury wasn't too serious.

“Aww, poor baby,” you said to Spence in a baby voice, pinching his cheek. Now he was smiling and softly swatting your hand away. Satisfied with making him happier, you stepped aside for him to be rolled into your room. You noticed Morgan carrying some crutches as he rolled Spencer into the living room. 

“He’s on leave for a week, so you’re stuck with him till then. If you have any trouble, feel free to call one of us,” Morgan said. You still couldn’t believe you were getting a whole week with him- sure, the circumstances weren’t great, but it was time nevertheless. Morgan said his goodbyes and before you knew it, you and Spencer were alone. 

“So a wheelchair, huh?” you inquired, wondering why he didn’t just have crutches.

“Yeah, they think it'd be easier for me to get around in a wheelchair. I feel so restricted,” he grumbled before stretching his arms above his head and relaxing. 

“Well, I guess I get to play nurse for a week,” you said with excitement, wheeling him over to the couch.

“The prettiest nurse I've ever seen,” he smiled, causing you to blush.

“Please, I'm no Meredith Grey,” you laughed referencing Grey’s Anatomy. Spencer just looked clueless.

“Sorry, from the show Grey’s Anatomy. I forgot you’re not big into TV... we can change that,” you said mischievously before grabbing his hands and leading him to hop onto the couch next to you.

“I’ll always watch TV with you,” he said, elevating his injured leg onto the coffee table and lifting his arm for you to nuzzle under, which you did immediately. With your remote in hand, you ultimately decided to watch Hamilton on Disney+. He’d never seen it before but he had heard some of the songs at karaoke night when Garcia would get onto the stage, so you were excited for him to sing along with you (which he said he wouldn’t do, but you held his eidetic memory against him in this case). You comfortably watched the entire thing, breaking into song and serenading him during “Helpless,” he even sang along to “Satisfied” which was Garcia's song of choice during karaoke night. You both laughed and cried, thoroughly enjoying the whole musical. Once it was finished you both sat in silence, processing.

“That last song always gets me,” you laughed, wiping a tear from your eye and sitting up to face Spencer, ready to analyze it. He silently urged you to continue talking about the show by resting his hand on your thigh as you talked.

“It’s just… when Eliza says ‘when my time is up, have i done enough, will they tell my story,’” you sung fast, giggling, “for some reason I’ve always connected with that line. Ever since my dad died I’ve just been thinking about  _ my  _ legacy, I have an identity crisis like every day,” you laughed, Spencer remaining quiet, gaze still rested on you. “That’s why I moved out here to follow my dream, I’m just panicking about being... _ good  _ enough,” you said the last part without eye contact as you looked at your hands.

“Y/N, you are so incredibly good. At everything, at singing, at being kind, at being  _ there  _ for me, even when I’m a burden with a bandaged knee,” he said, you grabbed his hand and kissed it, holding it to your lips as he spoke. “As long as you leave a positive impact on just one person, you have lived a life of importance. And Y/N,” he said, fidgeting nervously, “you’ve done that for countless people. That's why… thats why I love you,” he confessed. You inhaled sharply, not expecting the confession. “And you don’t have to say it back, but I just thought you should know.” You were silent for a moment- you did love him, saying it out loud made it permanent, and the thought scared you. Seeing the hopeful look on Spencer's face, however, made you forget every worry. You stood up and straddled him, being very careful of his leg. He put his hands on your hips and looked into your eyes. 

“Spencer, I love you. So much. It’s scary, actually, how much I love you,” you confessed, softly leaning in to press a kiss to his lips. His arms moved from your hips to around your back, holding you as close as possible. He pulled away for a moment, inches away.

“I’m so happy,” he blushed before you leaned back in with a smile to connect once again. You stayed like this for a while before separating, now sitting with your head on his chest and his arm around you. At this point it was around 11 PM but neither of you were tired enough to sleep, so you had a good idea. Standing up, you walked to his go bag and began to rifle around.

“Y/N… what are you doing?” Spence asked suspiciously, leaning as far as he could to see you without standing. You grabbed a book from his bag and made your way back to the couch and handed it to him.

“I just forced you to watch 2 hours of a musical about our founding fathers, now I want to do something you like. Read to me?” you asked, with a hopeful glint in your eyes.

“Oh, Y/N you know I don’t mind what we do, as long as we’re together,” he said. This made your heart melt.

“I know Spence, but I  _ want  _ to do this,” you told him sincerely. He just looked at you for reassurance and when you nodded he opened up the book. You lied down and put your head in his lap, his hand instinctively reaching to play with your hair as the other held the book. He began to read, his voice soft and low, soothing you immensely. Before you knew it, you were drifting off to the dulcet tones of his voice.

-

You woke the next morning still on the couch with a blanket wrapped around you. Gathering your bearings, you noticed that Spencer was no longer beside you. Standing up frantically, you heard the toilet flush and saw Spencer emerge from the bathroom. 

“Oh sorry, did I wake you?” he apologized, walking over to you on his crutches. Sighing in relief, you answered.

“Nah, I should be up anyway,” you answered as he sat back down on the couch. You realized that you had both fallen asleep there, from the looks of the dent in the cushions. “I’m so sorry I made you fall asleep on the couch last night, especially with your leg!” you exclaimed, realizing that there was no possible way he slept comfortably.

“It’s okay, really!” he assured you. “I fell asleep after you did anyways, it was actually one of my best nights sleep I’ve had in awhile. Actually, since you visited in that case in New Jersey,” he confessed, a slight red tinge on his cheeks. You were glad that you could provide him with his much needed sleep- the dark circles he was normally sporting had faded slightly. 

“What do you say I make us some pancakes? You know, for your troubles,” you joked, eliciting a chuckle from Spencer.

“I could never turn you down on that,” he smiled and you began to move to the kitchen, Spencer crutching behind you to take a seat at the table close to the stovetop. As you gathered ingredients and began to mix, the two of you chatted about your lives and the people in them- he had a few good anecdotes of Garcia saying some lewd things while on speakerphone with the team, and you laughed like you hadn’t in weeks.

“So, what’s your schedule like today?” Spence asked, his hope that you would spend time with him evident on his face.

“Actually, I’m supposed to play tonight at the cafe. But I can totally cancel,” you suggested, and he made a face.

“No, no! Don’t cancel things on my account, I don’t want you to stop living your life. Maybe I can come watch it?” he asked, hopeful. You thought for a moment before deciding that it would be fun for him to see you sing and perform some of your original songs… one of which you wrote about him.

“Sure! I can wheel you over, this is so exciting,” you giggled, plating yourself each a few pancakes and setting them down in front of the both of you. He thanked you and the two of you began to eat, continuing the conversation between bites

-

“Alright so I have my guitar, my keys, my phone… I think we’re ready!” you smiled at Spencer before slinging your guitar behind your back, freeing your hands to push him in his wheelchair, despite his protests to crutch his way. The two of you were greeted by the crisp November air and you took a deep breath, taking in the atmosphere.

“This is the beginning of my favorite time of year,” you smiled, looking around at some of the premature Christmas decorations

“Yeah, it’s nice,” Spencer remarked, looking around as well. “Do you have any Thanksgiving plans?” he asked, tentatively. You faltered slightly, remembering that this is your first winter season without your father.

“Oh, well, I guess not. I mean, normally my parents host my Dad’s side of the family, but mom hasn’t had the energy to do much hosting since… you know,” you told him. You couldn’t see his face but he radiated sympathy. “Nobody else picked up the hosting slack, so I guess it’s not happening,” you said, voice laced in disappointment.

“Well…” he started nervously, “What if you spent thanksgiving with us? At Garcia’s, she hosts every year and everyone’s gonna be there. JJ’s bringing Will and Henry, you’ll get to meet them for the first time,” he asked, hopefully. You took a moment to consider. 

“Spence, I would love to,” you told him, excited that you had something to do on the holiday. The two of you discussed your plans the rest of the walk until you arrived. You opened the door and wheeled him in, placing him in the perfect position to watch your set. 

“I’m just gonna go check in with my manager so she knows I’m here, you good hanging until I’m back?” you asked. He nodded and you leaned in to peck him before heading back to greet your manager. Soon enough, you were on the slightly lifted “stage” (it was really just a mini platform in the corner of the already small coffee house) and you had your guitar poised at the ready, the microphone perched in front of you. A small crowd had formed, people browsing the book selection and a few waiting for their coffees when you began.

“Hello everyone, my name is Y/N and I’m gonna sing a few songs for you guys,” you said with a smile, greeted with some polite applause and a few whoops from your coworkers. 

“This first song is written about someone really special to me,” you started, eyes landing on Spencer, “He saved me in more ways than one and I can’t thank him enough for it. Here’s Golden Hour,” you announced, beginning to strum the chords. 

“All that I know

Is you caught me at the right time

Keep me in your glow

'Cause I'm having such a good time

With you

Baby, don't you know?

That you're my golden hour

The color of my sky

You've set my world on fire

And I know, I know everything's gonna be alright”

You did your best to look around the room but your eyes were mainly trained on Spencer, who was looking right back at you, completely entranced. His face had a light blush and a soft smile, like he couldn’t believe you were real.

I used to get sad

And lonely when the sun went down

But it's different now

'Cause I love the light that I've found

In you

Baby, don't you know?

That you're my golden hour

The color of my sky

You've set my world on fire

And I know, I know everything's gonna be alright

While you were singing, Spencer managed to escape his trance and slyly film your performance, and although he wasn’t the best cameraman, it was touching that he wanted to save your performance. You wouldn’t be surprised if he sent it to the team, either.

“You make the world look beautiful

I thought I'd seen it all before

But looking through your eyes

It looks like paradise

You set my world on fire, yeah

And I know, I know everything's gonna be alright

You're my golden hour

The color of my sky

You've set my world on fire

And I know, I know everything's gonna be alright

Yeah I know, I know everything's gonna be alright

Golden hour”

You finished singing and were greeted with applause, Spencer almost jumping out of his seat to encourage you. You laughed and thanked the audience, continuing the set with some more originals and some covers before thanking the audience once again for listening. You turned around to pack up your guitar and when you turned back to face Spencer, he was out of his chair and standing on his good leg.

“Hey hey sit down!” you laughed, rushing over to him. He resisted your attempts to push him back down and pulled you into a kiss. You smiled into it, living in the moment. You pulled away after a few seconds, your faces still inches away and staring deep into each other's eyes.

“You’re so beautiful,” he said, breathlessly. You chuckled.

“I know you are but what am I,” you whispered with a smirk. He chuckled and finally let you push him back in his seat. “Let’s get you home, my love,” you told him, kissing his forehead when he leaned his neck back to look at you. 

You both fell asleep that night tangled in each other's arms (his bandaged leg was carefully resting on a pillow), simply enjoying the company, but it was soon that he would be back to work. You didn’t think of that, though- you thought of the amazing time you were having and the amazing time you were going to have at Garcia’s. You were happy.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! If you're reading this, thank you!!! This is my first Criminal Minds fic, I love Spencer so much so I just started writing something. This is one of my favorite tropes :))) so i dont care if its a little cheesy. Let me know if this is worth continuing!


End file.
